In the last few years, followers of fashion and good sense have had to deal with one plastic surgery-related shock after another. First it was the beauty queens who went belly up after some completely unnecessary procedures. Then it was the 12 year olds who put Liposuction on their birthday wishlists. Followed by the Asian 12 year olds who got eyelid surgery to look more Western. And now, it’s the pets.
The British insurance company PetPlan has reported that pet insurance claims related to plastic surgery procedures totaled 1.5 million pounds in 2010, almost three times higher than previous years. While some of the procedures are meant to help the pets breathe or walk better, the chihuahua-toting brigade has made sure that a large number of them are purely for vanity.
One of the most popular procedures are ‘Neutical Implants’ – fake bean-shaped testicles that are given to a neutered dog to help maintain his self esteem. Of course, it may be argued that since the dog usually doesn’t even acknowledge their presence, it is quite clear exactly whose self esteem the Neuticles are boosting. It’s no surprise that it’s male owners who usually ask for the implants for their dogs, usually slipping in a question about whether it’s possible to ‘upsize’.
Other procedures include the ever-present Botox for unsightly wrinkles, and dental braces, which do the exact same things to dogs that they do to humans – straighten your teeth so you can look great in your high school yearbook picture.
Makes you long for the good old days when Michael Jackson’s surgeries passed for scandal.