Gaddafi: An Obituary

Death

We live in a world where it's impolite to celebrate death, and in this case, it would be far worse to mourn, so all we can do is write an obituary in honor of Muhammar Gaddafi. And because the thumb-rule with obituaries is that you should try to paint the person in a positive light, we'll just follow suit.

Muammar Gaddafi, noted fashionista, champion of Botox, and creator of confusion as to how one spells his name, was killed by a mob in Libya yesterday. While his positive contribution to the world doesn't amount to much, he has left a mark in the world of political fashion. Over the last four decades, he has carried off 'The Military Look', 'The African Prince Look' as well as the hard to pull off 'Overweight Man Wearing a Blanket' look, all with ease and panache. Not just stopping with his closet, the relentless dictator was a great believer in the power of Botox, preserving his youthful looks with weekly injections.They were probably administered by the team of attractive Ukrainian nurses who were always by his side.

He must also be lauded for his help in creating jobs for women, not just attractive nurses, but attractive women in all professions. After all, he kept an all-female bodyguard crew, and hired hundreds of beautiful Italian women to listen to his lectures. Of course, all of these women had to pass a casting test: all virgins and no fatties, giving women everywhere motivation to keep our calories off, and pants on.

Lastly, I must also thank him on behalf of journalists around the world, for feeding us priceless lines like: "(Obama) is my son"


He'll be a hard one to forget.